The Wisdoms Project

Self Esteem

I think it’s a shame that, in their quest for self-esteem, many people have made a lot of pop-psychologists very wealthy.  To me it’s quite simple….I’m very good, damn it….and I’m not going to let myself ever forget it!

The first acquired wisdom below, one of my four favorites, is especially meaningful to me.  I like to think that my “wonderful moment” when I can “do great things” is not just one moment, but almost every moment.

                                                         Just Once In A Lifetime

                                             Lyrics and music by Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newley.
            Sung by Shirley Bassey.
                (From the musical and film “Stop the World, I Want to Get Off.”)

Just once in a lifetime one knows of a moment;
     One wonderful moment when fate takes your hand.
For this is my moment, my destiny calls me
     and tho' it may be just once in my lifetime;
I'm going to do great things.

You must begin to think of yourself
as becoming the person you want to be.

                                              I’m good often.
                                                               I’m very good occasionally.
                                                                                 I’m brilliant every now and then.
Whoopi Goldberg

                              This life is yours. Believe in yourself.

Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well.
Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly.
Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature.
Take the power to control your own life.  No one else can do it for you.
Take the power to make your life exciting, worthwhile and very happy.
                                        Nothing is too good for you. You deserve the best.
Susan Polis Schutz

To accomplish great things….we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.
Anatole France

                     The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts.
Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the full light of day.
The content of your character is your choice.  
Day by day, what you choose, what you think and what you do is who you become.
Your integrity is your destiny….it is the light that guides your way.

After a while you learn the difference, the subtle difference....
                   between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
You learn that love doesn't mean learning....
                   and that company doesn't mean security.
You begin to know that kisses aren't contracts....
                   and that presents aren't promises.
After a while you start to accept your defeats....
                   with your head up and your eyes open,
                   with the grace of an adult, not the whimpering of a child.
You learn to build on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain.
You begin to see that sunshine burns if you get too much.
So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul….
                   instead of waiting for someone else to bring you flowers.
Understand that you definitely can endure....
                   that you are truly strong, and that you really do have worth.

There is nothing in this world that I am more proud of, than my ability to feel,
 to survive, and yes, to be a fool for what I love and believe in.
Jodie Foster

All of the really successful people I know have one characteristic in common….a no-limitations belief in themselves and their own abilities. Armed with knowledge gained through experience, they're supremely confident of their capacity to create and to achieve. The people who fear making mistakes too much to make them, obviously won't make any. But neither will they learn or grow. They will stand still or slide backwards….while others about them, with courage to face up to the inevitable risk that is inherent in initiative, will thrust forward. In short, the status of the individual who plays it too safe will be in greater jeopardy than that of their more venturesome counterparts.
 Paul J. Mayer

Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.
Bruce Barton

      You are braver than you believe.  You are smarter than you seem.  You are stronger than you think.
Winnie the Pooh

When I dare to be powerful, when I use my strength in the service of my vision
….then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.
Andre Lorde

      Have patience with all things
                                ….but first with yourself.
      Never confuse your mistakes
                                ….with your value as a human being.
      You are a perfectly valuable, creative, worthwhile person
                simply because you exist.  
      And no amount of triumphs or tribulations can ever change that.
      Unconditional self-acceptance is the core of a peaceful mind.
St. Francis de Sales

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt

If you always do what interests you
….at least one person will be pleased.
Katharine Hepburn

              Nothing promotes self-confidence more
                                          ….than the knowledge that you are a survivor.

    This above all….to refuse to be a victim.
        Unless I can do that, I can do nothing.
    Margaret Atwood

People seldom want to walk over you until you lie down.
    Elmer Wheeler

What is most beautiful in virile men is something feminine
….and what is most beautiful in feminine women
is something masculine.
    Susan Sontag

Any person or institution that tries to rob me of my dignity will lose.
Nelson Mandela

Never lower your head.  Always hold it high.
Look the world straight in the eye.
    Helen Keller

For every girl who is tired of acting weak when she is strong, there is a boy tired of  appearing strong when he feels vulnerable.
For every boy who is burdened with the constant expectation of knowing everything, there is a girl tired of people not trusting her intelligence.
For every girl who is tired of being called overly-sensitive, there is a boy who fears to be gentle or to weep.
For every boy for whom competition is the only way to prove his masculinity, there is a girl who is called unfeminine when she competes.
For every girl who throws out her e-z bake oven, there is a boy who wishes to find one.
For every boy struggling not to let advertising dictate his desires, there is a girl facing the ad industry’s attack on her self-esteem.
For every girl who takes a step toward her liberation, there is a boy who finds the way to freedom a little easier.

Men are less sentimental than women.
     No man has ever seen the movie “The Way We Were” twice, voluntarily.

Men are sensitive in strange ways.
     If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

Men go through a type of menopause, too.  
     They don’t gain weight or get hot flashes, but they do get to date young  women and drive motorcycles.

If you think other people took your power from you, you can never get it back because you never relinquished it. When you see that you gave your power away, then you can begin the process of retrieving it.

When you make a mistake or get ridiculed or rejected, look at mistakes as learning experiences and ridicule as ignorance. After a rejection, take a look at your BAG….Blessings, Accomplishments, Goals. Look at rejection as part of one performance, not as a turndown of the performer.
Denis Waitley

Notice the difference between what happens when people say to themselves, “I have failed three times,” and what happens when they say, “I am a failure.”
S. I. Hayakawa

Perfection is rarely possible….but striving for perfection gives one the satisfaction of doing one's best no matter what the outcome.

People rarely hold a good opinion of those
                                      ….who have low opinions of themselves.
Anthony Trollope

                   Too many people overvalue what they are not ….and undervalue what they are.
Malcolm Forbes    

If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
    Mark Twain

Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self-neglect.
    William Shakespeare

Whatever you may be sure of,
           be sure of this:
            ….that you are dreadfully like other people.
James Russell Lowell

We probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of us
….if we could know how seldom they do.

No matter how great your personal triumphs
…or how tragic your personal defeats
….about six billion people
couldn’t care less.

To truly love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
    Oscar Wilde

                 If I am not for myself, who will be for me?
                                                           But if I am only for myself, what am I?

It's never too late to be the person you always wanted to become.
    George Elliot

Envy comes from people's ignorance of, or lack of belief in, their own gifts.
    Jean Vanier

We relish news of heroic people, forgetting that we ourselves are extraordinary to somebody too.
Helen Hayes


Self-trust is the first secret of success.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have always regarded myself as the pillar in my life.
    Meryl Streep

Early in life, I had to choose between honest arrogance and hypocritical humility.
I chose honest arrogance and have seen no occasion to change.
Frank Lloyd Wright

Women are sure that:

Men like to barbeque because men will cook if there’s danger involved.
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage because they have experienced pain
           and bought jewelry.
Men like phones with lots of buttons because it makes them feel important.
Men you meet at the dry cleaners are a good catch because these men usually have jobs and they bathe.

                               Greatest Love of All
                                                                            Lyrics and music by Michael Masser and Linda Creed.
                                               Sung by Whitney Houston.

I believe that the children are our future.
Teach them well and let them lead the way.
Show them all the beauty they possess inside.
I decided long ago never to walk in anyone's shadow.
If I fail, if I least I'll live as I believe.
Because the greatest love of all is happening to me.
I found the greatest love of all inside of me.

I didn’t for a moment think I wasn’t going to make it.  I just thought it might take a while.  Certainly, at times you lose confidence, but I always believed there was a place for me.  People believing in you are what give you the confidence to go on.  After that, it’s a matter of perseverance, luck and being ready when the opportunity does arrive.
Nathan Lane

Your presence is a present to the world.
You're unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be what you want it to be.
          Take the days just one at a time.
Count your blessings, not your troubles.  
You'll make it through whatever comes along.
Within you are so many answers.
          Understand, have courage, be strong.

Don't put limits on yourself.
So many dreams are waiting to be realized.
Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
          Reach for your peak, your goal, your prize.

Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets.
Don't take things too seriously.
          Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.

Remember that a little love goes a long way.
Remember that a lot goes forever.
Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
          Life's treasures are people together.

Realize that it's never too late.
Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
Have health and hope and happiness.
Take the time to wish upon a star.
And don't ever forget….even for a day....
          ….how very special you are.
Collin McCarthy