The Wisdoms Project


Anne and I met in September of 1960 in San Antonio.  She was the editor of our college yearbook.  I was the advertising manager.  We’ve produced quite a long and happy novel since then….including two sequels that have both become fine, contributing citizens.  Lisa and Marc are living lovely, productive lives and make us very proud.
      I could talk about love, commitment, caring, compromise, consideration, concern….judgment, values, luck….good times and bad times….thick and thin….in sickness and in health….et cetera, et cetera.  Instead, let me say that as I was putting the “wisdoms” of this chapter in the order that I thought was right, I noticed that three of them were songs.


 How very appropriate!  Like my lifelong appreciation of music, I greatly appreciate my family for giving me lyrical joy, a sense of rhythm in my life, the satisfaction of creation and fulfillment….and that uplifting, exciting, yet soothing feeling of happiness that comes from a beautiful melody intertwined with meaningful poetry.

It is not a question of how a couple can be equal and alike but rather,
it is a problem to be solved of how two people can be equal and different.

Nobody can break up a happy marriage.
Bob Feller

After 40 years, I am absolutely sure that the secret to a happy marriage is that you must have separate bathrooms.
Michael Caine

We’ve Only Just Begun

                                                             Lyrics by Paul Williams.  Music by Roger Nichols
               Sung by The Carpenters

          Sharing horizons that are new to us.
Watching the signs along the way.
             Talking it over just the two of us.  
            Working together day to day.  
   So much of life ahead.
And yes, we've just begun.

                    We’re In This Love Together
                                                Lyrics and music and sung by Al Jarreau

            We’re in this love together.
                   We've got the kind that'll last forever.
                           We're in this love together....
                        and like berries on the vine, it gets sweeter all the time.

                                     Annie’s Song
                                        by John Denver

                 Come let me love you.
                           Let me give my life to you.
                                                                    Let me drown in your laughter.
                                                                               Let me die in your arms.
                                           Let me lay down beside you.
                                                   Let me always be with you.  
                                                           Come let me love you.  
                                                                   Come love me again.

Men really want women to understand that:

Since most guys own only three pairs of shoes, what makes you think we’d be
    any good at choosing which pair, out of your twenty, would look good
    with your dress?
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
    makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
Subtle hints don’t work.  Strong hints don’t work.  Really obvious hints
    don’t work.  Ask for what you want.  Just say it!
“Yes” and “no” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question.
If we ask what’s wrong and you say “Nothing,” we will act like nothing’s
    wrong.  We know you’re lying, but it’s just not worth the hassle.
You can either tell us to do something or tell us how to do something,
    but not both.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the

If children live with criticism….they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility    ….they learn to fight.
If children live with ridicule….they learn to be shy.
If children live with shame….they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with tolerance….they learn to be patient.
If children live with encouragement….they learn confidence.
If children live with praise….they learn to appreciate.
If children live with fairness….    they learn justice.
If children live with security….they learn to have faith.
If children live with approval….they learn to like themselves.

If children live with acceptance and friendship….they learn to find love in the world.
    Dorothy Nolte

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them….and half as much money.
                                                                       Abigail Van Buren

                    You may give them your love, but not your thoughts
                                       ….for they have their own thoughts.
                        You may house their bodies, but not their souls
                        ….for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow
                             which you cannot visit even in your dreams.
             You may strive to be as them, but seek not to make them as you.
                    For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
           You are the bows from which your children, as living arrows, are sent forth.
Kahlil Gibran

There are only two lasting things we can give our children.
One is roots,    the other is wings.

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to
                      ….find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
    Harry Truman

Bumper stickers and T-shirts can be wise and funny:

Hire a teenager now….while they still know everything.
These aren’t hot flashes….they are power surges.
If men could get pregnant….abortion would be in the Bill of Rights.
As long as there are tests….there will be prayers in public schools.
Women belong in the house….and in the Senate and the Oval Office.
Someday, my honor student….will be your kid’s criminal lawyer.
I still miss my ex-husband….but my aim is improving.
I am not a brat! not, am not, am not!!
A woman’s rule of thumb:
            If it has tires or testicles….you’re going to have trouble with it.
Sex is nobody’s business….except the three people involved.
What’s the worst three words to hear while having sex?:
                                                                “Honey, I’m home!”

Children today are tyrants.
They contradict their parents….
gobble their food….
and tyrannize their teachers.
Socrates (391 B.C.)

Children have never been good at listening to their elders,
but they have never failed to imitate them.
James Baldwin

Sound really does travel slower than light.
The advice parents give to their
eighteen year-olds doesn’t reach them until they’re about forty.

Reasons Why Some Men and Women
Get a Dog Instead of a Spouse:

1.    The later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you.
2.     Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another name.
3.    A dog’s parents never come for a visit.
4.    You never have to stand around and wait for a dog.  
The dog is always ready to go….anywhere.
5.    A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without
calling you a pervert.
6.    If your dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.

A family is a little kingdom….torn by factions and exposed to revolutions.
    Samuel Johnson

                            Nobody's family can honestly say, “Nothing is the matter here.”
    Chinese Proverb

How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child.
William Shakespeare

                            Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
    George Burns

    When I was growing up, my mother told me a lot of things
that turned out later not to be true.
        She told me that:

                      Only tramps get their ears pierced.
                The people in Washington wouldn’t be there if they didn’t know what they were doing.
                                     Whatever makes you happy will make me happy.
                                                                             Enough is enough.
Lily Tomlin

Richer than I you will never be….for I had parents who read to me.

When you show your child that you think he or she is the most wonderful child in the world, it makes their spirit grow….just the way milk makes their bones grow.
Benjamin Spock

All great change in America begins at the dinner table.
Ronald Reagan


Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity
….they think of you.
H. Jackson Brown

The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love
and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it
                           ….you will discover that for you the world is transformed.
J. Krishnamurti